How 19,000 miles of summer travel taught me the most essential leadership skill of all

I used to believe I could handle everything on my plate.

Sound familiar? If you're reading this, chances are you're juggling multiple priorities, wearing several hats, and wondering how other leaders make it look so effortless. I get it—because I was there too, until this summer changed everything.

Picture this: Philadelphia International Airport, d-e-l-a-y. I'm stranded after an 8-hour flight from Zurich, facing an 8-hour delay that felt like an eternity. 

That's when exhaustion became my greatest teacher.

Here's the lie we've all bought into: great leaders are superhuman multitaskers who can juggle infinite responsibilities without breaking a sweat. We see their polished LinkedIn posts, their packed calendars, their impressive accomplishments, and we think, "I need to do more."

But here's what I learned in that Philadelphia terminal, and what months of working with high-performing leaders has confirmed: trying to do it all isn't impressive—it's a recipe for mediocrity.

My first coach taught me this years ago, but it took being stranded thousands of miles from home, exhausted and overwhelmed, for the lesson to truly sink in.

If you only had the time between boarding announcements to handle three critical issues, which would they be?

That's not just your priority list—that's your path to leadership excellence.

When you're forced to choose only three things, something magical happens. The urgent but unimportant tasks fall away. The busy work that feels productive but doesn't move the needle becomes obvious. What remains are the activities that truly matter—the ones that align with your values, serve your team's core objectives, and create lasting impact.

During my travels this summer, I noticed a pattern among the most effective leaders I encountered. They had mastered something most of us struggle with: the art of strategic refusal.

These weren't people who lacked ambition or drive. They were individuals running million-dollar departments, leading hundreds of employees, and making decisions that affected thousands of customers. But they had learned a crucial truth:

Every yes to something unimportant is a no to something that matters.

Think about last week. How many times did you say yes to requests, meetings, or projects that didn't align with your top three priorities? How often did you find yourself busy but not productive, moving but not progressing?

The mathematics of leadership are unforgiving. When you try to give attention to everything, you give adequate attention to nothing. Your team notices. Your results reflect it. Your energy pays the price.

I've seen talented leaders burn out not because they lacked capability, but because they lacked the courage to disappoint people in small ways to avoid disappointing them in big ways. They said yes to every meeting, every project, every urgent request—and ended up delivering mediocre results across the board instead of exceptional results where it mattered most.

Here's what changed everything for me, and what I now teach every leader I coach. Before saying yes to any new request, ask yourself:

1. What three things am I currently doing that truly matter?
2. Which one am I willing to stop or delegate to make room for this new request?
3. Does this new request serve my team's core objectives better than what I'd be giving up?

These questions act as a filter, helping you distinguish between what feels urgent and what actually is important. Leaders who implement this simple practice report 40% less stress and 25% better team outcomes.

Not all priorities are created equal. During those long airport hours, I developed what I call the Energy-Impact Matrix:

• High Energy, High Impact: Your sweet spot—do these first and give them your best hours
• Low Energy, High Impact: Batch these during your natural peak times or when you're well-rested
• High Energy, Low Impact: These are prime candidates for delegation or elimination
• Low Energy, Low Impact: Your official "not-to-do" list

The revelation? Most of us spend the majority of our time in the bottom two categories, wondering why we feel busy but not accomplished.

Here's the travel test I now use: If your priority wouldn't matter to your team in six months, it's probably a distraction masquerading as urgency.

Real priorities are time-zone independent. They matter as much in Zurich as they do in Philadelphia. They're still important whether you're well-rested or running on airport coffee. They align with your core values and move your most important objectives forward.

Everything else? That's just noise.

Here's the paradox that every great leader discovers: the more selective you become about what deserves your attention, the more impact you create.

When you focus deeply on fewer things, several powerful things happen:

• Your decision-making improves because you're not operating from decision fatigue
• Your team gains clarity because your priorities are clear and consistent
• Your results improve because you're applying concentrated effort rather than scattered attention
• Your energy increases because you're working in alignment with what matters most

If you're ready to stop drowning in competing priorities and start leading with focused intention, here's where to begin. Take 10 minutes right now to complete what I call a "Priority Audit":

1. List everything currently on your plate
2. Identify which items align with your three most important objectives
3. Determine what you can delegate, delay, or delete
4. Block time in your calendar for your highest-impact priorities first

But here's what I've learned after working with hundreds of leaders: knowing what to do and actually doing it consistently are two different things.

This is why I created my text-based coaching program. Because leadership challenges don't wait for scheduled coaching sessions. They happen at 2 AM in airport terminals. They occur during back-to-back meetings when someone drops another "urgent" request on your desk. They surface when you're trying to balance competing demands from your team, your boss, and your family.

Imagine having a coach in your pocket, ready to help you navigate these crucial moments with strategic guidance and accountability that fits your busy schedule. When you're facing a difficult prioritization decision, when you're tempted to say yes to everything, when you need someone to help you see the forest through the trees—that's when real-time coaching makes the difference between mediocre leadership and exceptional impact.

Ready to transform your leadership approach with on-demand coaching support? Learn more about my text-based coaching program here.

You're at a crossroads that every successful leader must navigate. You can continue trying to do everything, spreading your attention thin and wondering why your impact feels limited. Or you can embrace the counterintuitive truth that doing less—but doing it extraordinarily well—is the path to leadership excellence.

The executives I most admire didn't get where they are by saying yes to everything. They got there by getting ruthlessly clear about what mattered most and having the courage to protect their priorities from the tyranny of the urgent.

Your team is watching. Your results are reflecting your choices. Your energy is finite.

So here's my challenge to you: What would you stop doing if you could only focus on three things for the rest of this quarter?

Write them down. Be honest. Those might be the only things that actually matter.

Because here's the truth that took me 19,000 miles and an 8-hour delay to fully understand: You can't do it all, but you can do the most important things.

And when you do, that's when leadership stops being about survival and starts being about impact.

What's your biggest challenge when it comes to prioritizing as a leader? I'd love to hear from you—and help you work through it. Whether it's through my text-based coaching program or just a conversation, remember: the best leaders aren't the ones who have all the answers. They're the ones who ask the right questions and get the support they need to find clarity in the chaos.

Ready to get started? Discover how text-based coaching can transform your leadership approach.